Monday, May 19, 2014

Several Good Reasons Not To See "Jurassic World"

For more than a decade now, there have been talks of a Jurassic Park 4. Finally, it seems like it's coming, and, well, to put it lightly, sounds like total crap. Here are a list of several great reasons not to go see Jurassic World.

Reason 1: The Park Activities

So, apparently, there is going to be a dinosaur petting zoo and a ride that gets up close to the dinosaurs. Oh, boy. A ride getting close to the dinosaurs is so harmless! Nothing can go wrong. Watch Jurassic Park (the original). That idea didn't work, and they weren't even close to the dinosaurs. Also, a dinosaur petting zoo sounds a little better, but really? Please don't have corny awful jokes. Please don't have anything like… ah whatever…

Reason 2: Tamed Dinosaurs

Okay, so some dinosaurs are tamed. Retarded. I guess you could tame them, but this sounds lame. But we are devoid of how trained they are, so I shouldn't really say anything just yet (oops). It's the third reason that makes this ridiculous. 

Reason 3: "Good Dinosaurs" vs. "Bad Dinosaurs"

*Screams at the top of lungs*. Hello! There is no good or bad in nature! It's just the way things are! Stop doing that and humanizing things by saying "there are good dinosaurs and bad dinosaurs. The bad ones are always carnivores and always do nothing but cause mayhem because race car. And herbivores are always harmless." Okay, sorry, had to vent. I am aware that the article says that the raptors (dromaeosaurs…) and T-rex (T.rex) are among the good trained dinosaurs. So, basically, all the bad dinosaurs are untrained. Not always true. And this is leading up to the number one reason not to go see the movie.

Reason 4: Hybrid Dinosaur

So, last year, Jack Horner, the paleontological advisor for the film, teased about a new very scary dinosaur that will "keep your lights on after the movie." So what was it? Was it Balaur? Was it Siats? Was it Qianzhousaurus or some new dinosaur? No, it was a fantasy dinosaur! I bet the creators were in a meeting and were like, "So, how are we going to top Spinosaurus? Oh, I know, how about we create a hybrid because that's cool!" No, sorry, it's not. It is really just a hybrid of a raptor, a T.rex (already implausible) a snake, and a cuttlefish. First off, that is the lamest hybrid ever. Second, there are so many other real dinosaurs to choose from. 

Reason 5: No Feathers!!!!!!!

Even before the news of the other four reasons where released, the director released a Twitter comment that there will be "no feathers". So, ignore all of the science that has been made since the original film and show people misinformation. I understand the majority of people will say to all these reasons "it's just a movie. People know it's not real." Unfortunately, some people will think that the dinosaurs are real, and it will really hurt the now gaining popularity that raptors and other coelurosaurs were feathered. Thank you so much Jurassic World! Thank you so much!

So, five quick reasons. There you go. If you do see it, then either have fun, or bask in the misinformation and pseudoscience. If not, then watch all the chaos that will ensue from this.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

How Scary Azhdarchids Really Are

The dinosaurs really cover up what I think are much cooler animals. The pterosaurs. The dinosaurs take all the fame, but pterosaurs are really interesting. Of all the pterosaurs however, azhdarchids are the scariest and most interesting of all. I find them my favourite pterosaurs and particularly interesting for many reasons. So, this post is dedicated to my number one favourite pterosaurs, the azhdarchids.

From Skim Feeders to Cursorial Predators

When azhdarchids were first found, we assumed they were just like any other pterosaur. We thought that pretty much all pterosaurs were fish eaters. However, we know that's not the case. We have flightless pterosaurs, like Sos 2428, and the frugivorous tapejarids, the aerial predators like Harpactognathus, and then we have azhdarchids. At first, because of their long spear like beaks, we thought they were skim feeders, kind of like the skimmers, which are birds that have a longer lower jaw and a shorter upper jaw, which they use for skimming the water until they catch fish. In fact, many pterosaurs, including Rhamphorhynchus were thought to fish like this, but we know know that it probably isn't likely. The same goes for the azhdarchids. There are several problems that go with this idea:

1. Azhdarchids have long, inflexible necks, and their jaws are not like those of modern day skimming birds.
2. There have been no fossils of azhdarchids found in marine deposits, all in terrestrial (sometimes arid) environments.

Others suggested they were scavengers, but their jaws are also not like those of scavenging animals. So, what were they doing? In 2008, a paper was published by Mark Witton, and Darren Naish, arguing that azhdarchids were cursorial predators, possibly preying upon baby dinosaurs! In fact, their long limbs and unspecialized beaks suggest that they filled a niche similar to storks. In addition, there is evidence that azhdarchids traveled in groups when they stalked the ground. As if that isn't scary enough, these guys probably could run! Not waddle, but, RUN! They may have even taken on prey about the size of humans! So imagine a group of the biggest flying vertebrates on Earth chasing you down! Scary, huh?
An interesting note is that some inland late Cretaceous communities which have large azhdarchids were absent of midsize dinosaur predators. This suggests they actually filled the role of midsize predators in some areas!

So, this is a short post basically listing the reasons why azhdarchids are my favourite pterosaurs. If I do get something factually wrong, just tell me and I'll change it. I'm still getting used to this. Anyways, until next time!


Friday, May 16, 2014

Grimm, Season Finale Review: Blond Ambition

Warning: Contains Massive Spoilers and Language

The first season finale, we had the unexpected revelation that Nick's mom is alive and Juliette is on a coma. Second season finale, we were unsure what would happen to Juliette, Rosalee, and Monroe at the container yard, and Nick was zombified by Baron Samedi and put into a coffin. This season finale is just way to fucked up to explain at once, so, let's go and see the cliffhangers.

Cliffhanger #1 - Renard is Shot and Dead
So the bastard FBI Hundjäger Weston Steward did get him. Three shots! The good news is it didn't hit him in the heart. But last we saw he was coughing blood out of his nose. So, is he dead, or is he not? Of course, he probably isn't, but then again, there can be surprises in store.

Cliffhanger #2 - A Decapitated FBI Agent in Nick's Home
After Weston shot Renard down he started to shoot at Trubel, who went into her room. Weston broke in and woged. Then, Trubel,grabs her machete, and promptly uses it to make his head fling all the way down the stairs. Nick going to be in a lot of trouble. How are you going to explain a decapitated FBI Agent in your home!?

Cliffhanger #3 - Wu Sees a Grimm Diary
As Wu goes into Trubel's room, he notices the Grimm books and reads an entry, which has a Wesen in it, and a picture of a man decapitating it. Wu remembers his experience of seeing the Aswang, and clearly looks very disturbed. Will he find out next season.

Cliffhanger #4 - Nick and Juliette
So, Juliette is not happy. That's it. Oh, you want more? Okay. Here it is! Adalind impersonates Juliette, and she bangs Nick, and Juliette doesn't remember that, and now is mad that Nick (unknowingly) cheated on her and she can't have a boyfriend who is a Grimm. Too dangerous.

Cliffhanger #5 - Nick Looses His Grimm Powers
So, because he banged Adalind/Juliette, he can no longer see Wesen. No black eyes. He's a Human. And he was supposed to drink a... Oh, next one...

Cliffhanger #6 - The Cure!!!!

Cliffhanger #7 - Viktor Doesn't Have Your Baby
Last we saw Adalind, she was on a plane to see her baby with Viktor. How is Viktor going to handle the rathe of an angry mommy Hexenbiest? Not well I presume. This is going to be one hell of a scene...

So, we have to wait until October for these to be resolved. God, fucking Adalind... That bitch... That damn bitch!!!!
I'll die before October. I can't wait that long!

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Grimm: Here Comes Trubel

So, three episodes combined into one post. First up:

Nobody Knows the Trubel I've Seen:
The addition of a new Grimm is absolutely fantastic. This girl is totally off the wall in that she kills every Wesen she sees on sight, and thinks what she see's isn't real. Nick's interactions with her were very realistic, and he knows he needs to be her mentor, so that she doesn't kille every Wesen she spots. It was a great episode, and Viktor gave away the biggest plot twist of the season. Also, incredible playground fight scene, awesome job Toboni.

My Fair Wesen:
So, continuing from the last episode, "Trubel" now stay at Nick's house while he mentors her. Also, the Wesen of the week, is not new, but still different. It is the leech-like Lebensauger (literally "life sucker", in German) who runs a shoplifting operation, in which he has three girls (one of whom is also a Lebensauger) and shoplift clothes for him. This leads to my inappropriate comment. Fucking creep! Before he turns into the slimey minion of Cthulhu, he just induces fear in the most incredibly creepy way, something I just can't describe. Then, he woges and gives you love bites around your mouth and neck, leaving toothy ring marks and no blood in you. When Trubel finally fought them, I was very happy. She kicked ass, and that Cthulhu minion deserved every punch, every kick, every ounce of pain she painfully put on him. Also, she does need training. Then, randomly, some old guy coughs and holds one of the SEVEN KEYS!!!

The Inheritance:
One of my favourite episodes of the season. Trubel kicked ass, old guy was awesome, and Steward is still a bastard. As it turns out, the old dude, is another Grimm! He also have a ton of Grimm Diaries and stuff, including one of the seven keys. I was very upset that they completely ignored it until now,  but I'm okay now. I loved the scene in the hospital room. You have teen Grimm (Trubel), middle-aged Grimm (Nick), and old Grimm (Rolek). Then, the fight scene in the parking lot was awesome. Trubel fights alongside Nick and Hank, until they kill two of the Verrat dudes, and then she kicks ass, and when she randomly threw one onto the ground, then they notice she's there. Followed by smashing the others head into a car window. Now that Nick has two keys, he will now be much more targeted, and more heads will roll.

The season finale, Blond Ambition, is in two and a half days! I reallt can't wait, then I have to wait four months until Season 4. Until then folks!

What the Hell Deinocheirus?

So, late last year, I did a post on the new remains of Deinocheirus. For nearly 60 years, all we knew was its arms. These giant ass arms. Some thought predator, others tought ornithomimosaur. As it turns out, it is the latter, and late last year the body was found. It showed Deinocheirus had a hump, like a camel. The only thing missing was it's head. The head was stolen by some poachers who smuggled it all the way back to Europe. There, authorities picked up the skull and now we know what it looks like. For a while, people assumed the weirdest Deinocheirus got was its hump. And all the evidence pointed it to be a tree browser; until now.... Now, the skull shows Deinocheirus is even weirder than we ever thought. It's a freaking ornithomimosaur trying to be a camel and a hadrosaur, really hard!

Now I have seen a lot of comments on the internets that this could be a gaff, or misidentification, simply because it looks too much like a hadrosaur head. As far as I know, the skull was not faked, and from what the scientists said, it fit the rest of the body perfectly, thought how they do is something I want to know. The front half of the skull is hadrosaur. However, the eye sockets, and the rest of it is very ornithomimosaurian.
So, what niche did it fill? This skull is not what you expect from a browser. And why is Deinocheirus in Nemegt? To get an idea of what nice it may have filled, lets review its contemporaries. We have the bizarre (not as much so as Deinocheirus) Therizinosaurus, who probably used its long claws to pull down branches from trees and strip the leaves, so its a browser. Then, we have Saurolophus, a hadrosaur, and it probably was a grazer. Deinocheirus has a hadrosaur skull, so that suggest grazer, but, hadrosaurs are very common. The niche is filled. What the heck is his niche!? Well, I have heard one theory, stating that Deinocheirus actually did not live in Nemegt, but came from other lands to explore. I'm not too sure about that, but I do think it is possible. I believe that it was a weird combination of browser and grazer, but hey, I'm no paleontologist, or deinocheirologist. I really am excited, and finally, we have solved one of the longest mysteries from Inner Mongolia. I want this hybrid creep to be a documentary this very minute now. No reason it shouldn't be.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Getting Caught Up with Grimm

So, I am reviewing eleven episodes into one post. But they'll be brief.

Episode 10 - Eyes of the Beholder
A nice focus away from Nick and Adalind.

Episode 11 - The Good Soldier
All I have to say is, MANTICORE FIGHT!!!

Episode 12 - The Wild Hunt
The hunt was wild and Monroe's parents are morons.

Episode 13 - Revelation
Most epic fight scene ever, (Nick and Monroe taking on three Wildesheers and getting their asses kicked while doing so)

Episode 14 - Mommy Dearest
I had to wake up at 5:00 and be somewhere by 6:00. I went to sleep at 2:00. Thank you Reggie Lee for suggesting the Aswang. And making me fell sorry for Drew.

Episode 15 - Once We Were Gods
Wesen Council and Beati Paoli.

Episode 16 - The Show Must Go On
Umkippen, and RIP Sebaatien.

Episode 17 - Synchronicity
One hell of a baby you made there Adalind. And hey Kelly, again,

Episode 18 - The Law of Sacrifice
Damn, it feels wrong to say, "poor Adalind."

Quick, right? I'll have a duel review on "Nobody Knows the Trubel I've Seen" and "My Fair Wesen" later. Just to prove I'm not dead.